The Sister Who Didn't Belong
by Earl Annex
Summary: Harry has no idea what's going on. His worldview has been turned upside down, he's apparently a wizard now, and there's a strange girl claiming to be his sister. And, well, since the universe seems to agree with her, Harry has no choice to go with the flow and enjoy the chaos. Better get some popcorn, Harry. This is going to be a long ride. OC. SI. Parody. DRABBLEFIC!
1. Year One: The Entity

Author's Note: Okay. These will mostly be a bunch of snips/drabbles. I don't claim to be a professional writer. I also don't claim to be a professional entertainer. All this is simply an idea that grew until I actually managed to write it down. For a disclaimer, I do not own Harry Potter, no matter how much fun I may poke at it. This will mostly be for personal fun anyway, but some people I know (looking at you, Middy!) encouraged me to post this. They will be in no particular order.

 **Year One: The Entity**

Harry mentally counted down the seconds until his birthday. _Ten…nine…eight…seven…_ Was that rain, or was it something else? _Four…three…two…on-_

He _saw._

 _He saw an entity of immeasurable size and indecipherable shape, falling through a starry void with a complex dance by itself. He could not tell if eons were passing with each twist, each twirl, or if there was something more to either… He was not able to discern any measures of time in this beautiful, impossible space…_

 _But, as he watched, the entity began breaking up. Dozens of pieces, each more fantastic than the next, floating away through a void. Creatures of the oddest composition, and creatures of beauty. Bipedal people, humans, he realized, and quadrupedal creatures, something even more. He saw dragons and horses, he saw clowns and doctors, he saw chimaera and he saw aliens…_

 _And then he saw a human hurtling down towards him. A human shape, with sparks of the oddest make shedding from it, a large eight-point star above it… He saw it take shape, take a shape strikingly familiar to himself, he realized…_

 _A girl of just about his age coalesced before him, the eight-point-star fading, rectangular frames resting onto her brow, a vulpine grin creeping on_ to her face- what the heck, who is that?

The black-haired girl grinned at him. "Happy birthday, Harry." He tried to scramble away-

BOOM.

Both of them looked instinctively at the door. Harry felt something grab onto his shoulder. He looked back – looked into those odd blood-red eyes – when her grin widened. "Play along, Harry. I'll explain later. _(Wasn't the universe supposed to have accommodated yet?)_ "

Whatever questions Harry might have had died on his lips as the door was knocked off its hinges.


	2. Year One: The Explanation

**Year One: Explanations**

"So, I guess I owe you an explanation, Harry."

Harry nodded decisively. After the strangeness of the shopping trip, he felt he deserved at least that much. The girl ran a hand through her hair.

"Okay, first off, you weren't supposed to catch on that I'm not supposed to be here. The moment I chose to appear, I would have simply integrated with the world, with none the wiser." She smiled ruefully. "I suppose it must've been weird for you to just see me appear from nowhere."

Harry frowned. "But you didn't."

She stilled. "Oh?"

Harry took a deep breath. "I saw… Well, I'm not sure what I saw. It felt like a dream, and a nightmare…" He swallowed. "It was beautiful. And terrible."

She blinked. "A vision?"

Almost subconsciously, Harry moved his bangs away from his scar. "I guess. I…" He swallowed again. "Was… Was that your true form?"

She tilted her head. "Harry. What did you see?"

Harry looked down. "I saw… something. I can't really name it… but it was huge. Immeasurably great and immeasurably complex…" He licked his lips. "Twisting into fractals and dancing through space…"

'Alexandra' was looking at him through lidded eyes. "Right. That's- No, never mind. Go on."

Harry blinked. "Well, it was breaking up. Into… creatures. Impossible creatures, and impossible… people. And one of those… well, I suppose I could call them shards… came toward me. And became you."

The girl was pinching the bridge of her nose. "I swear, I am going to kill him…" She let out a deep sigh. "Okay. Fine. Was there anything else?"

Harry shook his head. "No. just the star."

"Star?"

"Well, yeah. Eight arrows poking outwards, and a ring. That's what a star looks like, right?"

She made a 'huh' noise. "A Chaos Star? Figures." She grinned suddenly. "Lots of chaos incoming, indeed!"

His 'sister' stretched herself out on her bed, which had somehow appeared in his room. Harry wondered how the heck that fit.

"Anyway, that explanation. We got massively derailed with your so-called 'Trigger Vision', anyway."

She ran a hand through her hair, making it look like there had just been a windy day. "I am a being older than your universe, potentially commanding power that would help me reshape all of reality, all of time and space to my specific whims. You have already seen a part of it in use, when I inserted myself into the history of this world." She tried to shrug, found that lying down made it into a sort-of shift instead, and gave it up as a bad job. "As far as anyone besides you is concerned, Alexandra Potter is, and has always been, your twin sister. Even official records and birth certificates confirm this, although naturally your fame overshadows my existence."

She smiled.

"If I were a normal mortal, I would eventually become disillusioned with the world and resentful of you, but thankfully that won't happen. Would it?"

'Alexandra' ran her hand through her hair again. "I have restricted myself into a mortal form. I am still a powerful wiz- witch, but now my power only rivals yours." She snorted. "That isn't really saying much. You are a very powerful wizard, Harry. You have an aptitude for Defence against the Dark Arts, not to mention protecting people, second to practically none aside from Professor Dumbledore himself."

"…What about you?"

"Hmm?"

"What aptitude did you… restrict yourself to?"

She shifted non-committally. "…Something I find fascinating."

"And that is?" Harry pressed.

"Dark Arts and Soul Magic. Simple interest, for now, but I should probably warn you I intend to become a Dark Witch to boot."

Harry crossed his arms. "And why did you come here, in the first place?"

She shrugged, properly this time. "Why does anyone of my kind? Boredom. It sounded like fun."

Yeah, Harry wasn't really sure what to say to that.


	3. Year Five: I've Had It (non-canon)

**Year Five: Alex Has Had It. (non-canon)**

Harry probably should have seen that coming. He and Alex had come across a crying first-year, comforted by the Weasley Twins. There was steel in his sister's gaze, and he didn't think he liked it. And then Umbridge had shown up, sweetly smiling at them.

"It's as I've always said, Mr. Potter. Naughty children _deserve_ to be punished."

Alexandra's back had gone ramrod straight. "That's it," she murmured, low enough that only Harry heard her. "This ends now."

"Something to say, miss Potter?"

She smiled. It was a very unpleasant smile. "Sure. _Accio wand!_ "

With a startled cry, Umbridge found her wand flying out of her hand, and into Alex's. She frowned. "Tut, tut, miss Potter. It's not very proper to steal another's wand, is it? Now, please hand it over to me."

Alex let loose a humourless laugh. She holstered her own wand, taking hold of Umbridge's. "Sorry, Professor. I'm afraid you're relieved of duty. _Avada Kedavra!_ "

Everyone present stared in horror at the bolt of green light that leapt from the wand, striking the woman in the chest. The girl smiled sweetly, too sweetly, and stepped closer. " _Ignis Maleficum!_ "

A fiery serpent leapt from the wand, crossing the distance to the corpse in seconds and devouring it whole. Alexandra smiled at it. _~Come here,~_ she hissed. Dutifully, it obeyed, slithering to her, and staring up almost hungrily. The girl held out the wand – Umbridge's wand – and dropped it into its maw, the snake extinguishing almost as soon as the wand burnt to ash.

Nonchalantly unholstering her wand, the girl made a sweeping motion, banishing any of the remaining ash, before turning to her gaping audience with a cheerful smile.

"What happened here remains between us, right?" She was fingering her wand. Everyone nodded in wordless agreement. She beamed. "Wonderful! I'd hate to start throwing _Obliviates_ around. What about you? You agree? Good! I think we're done here."

She grinned for the last time, and flounced away.

Nobody spoke for quite a while.


	4. Year One: The Train

**Year One: The Train**

"Malfoy. Draco Malfoy."

Ron snorted. Malfoy sneered at him. "Think my name's funny, do you? No point guessing who _you_ are. Red hair, hand-me-down clothes, dumb look on your face – you must be a Weasley."

Ron leapt up in fury. 'Alexandra Potter' yawned.

"I tire from your shenanigans, Drakey. Tell me, do you find my brother attractive?"

Malfoy looked at her like she had simultaneously grown two extra heads and spat a fish at him from each head. "What the hell?"

The girl ran a hand through her hair. "I asked you a question."

He looked disgusted. "What kind of a question is _that?_ "

She grinned, taking a wand from her sleeve. "The one you answered wrong. _Avada Kedavra!_ "

Malfoy and his bodyguards dived to the floor. Ron yelped. Alex laughed. "I don't care what they are going to say at school, this reaction was _so_ worth it."

"You tried to cast a _Killing Curse_ at me!"

"Now, now, Draco," Alex admonished. "I didn't _try_ to cast a Killing Curse on you. Trying implies not giving one's all, and that's not very dignified, is it?" She grinned with entirely too many teeth. "I only _pretende_ d to cast a Killing Curse on you. Distinction, Draco, is absolutely _crucial_ in those matters."

Draco Malfoy stared at her in horror. Harry mentally shared the sentiment.

Alex grinned, and changed tracks just as swiftly as before. "Now, Draco, you never answered me. Do you find my brother attractive?"

Both boys gagged.


	5. Year Two: Alexandra Potter's Junk

**Year Two: Alexandra Potter's Junk  
**  
"…anyway, my junk. For details, it's about seven inches long, at the moment, but once everything gets fully erect, it should be at least eight and a half…"

Draco choked mid-stride. He thought he heard that wrong. He really, really hoped he heard that wrong. He tuned in once more.

"…oh, definitely. Firm and smooth, and hard if you grip it _just right…_ "

Draco found himself having a slight eye-twitch. He strode over to the damned Potter girl.

"Potter."

She turned from the girl she was conversing – Greengrass, Draco noted – and gasped in delight. "Drakey, darling! So nice to see you!"

Draco found it very hard to keep his composure.

"I was just telling Daphne here about my junk! She's very… _excited_ to see it."

There was that damned vulpine grin again.

"We were _just_ about to go upstairs to take a look, darling, was there anything you wanted?" She gasped again. "Oh, I know! You want to come with, right? You want to see my junk, too?"

Where the hell was that other Potter, Draco thought. Gallivanting with his little blood traitor friends, no doubt. He was sure that if Potter – Harry – had been there, he wouldn't have to deal with her all on his own…

"No, Potter," he ground out. "I don't want to see your 'junk,' and I _never_ will." He lowered his voice. "Besides, it's your own fault for talking about things like… _that-_ " he shuddered "-in public."

Her grin grew even wider. "Oh, come now, Draco. Pleeeeeeease?" Her eyes grew big, and slightly watery. Draco drew his breath in. Damn her, he thought. Damn her.

When he later found out she'd been talking about a model ship, he really felt like punching her.


	6. Year Five: Letters And Ministerial Laws

**Year Five: Letters and Ministerial Laws**

"Wait."

Alex prodded the letter with her tinfoil wand. "If I steal his wand, and use magic with that, would that be on his Trace or mine?" She thought for a moment. "No, the Trace is all-encompassing… Would it be on his criminal record, then, rather than mine?"

The letter seemed to puff up in confusion, silently hovering between the two. "If you hadn't told me of your plans, it would still be on his... The letter of the law never mentioned this…"

Alex grinned. "Oh, good. I'll just obliviate this letter and move on. Harry, dear, could you give me your wand?"

As the letter let out faint protests, Harry stared her down incredulously. "No."

She shrugged. "Worth a try. Hey, can you convince Dobby to steal Lucius' wand for me?"

Harry sighed. " _No,_ Alex."

"Could you convince him to steal it for _you?_ I mean, you do need a wand, you know, being _expelled_ and all…"

"…No."

"You _hesitated~~_ "

"No."

"Killjoy."


	7. Year Five: Occlumentic Depravity

**Year Five: Occlumentic Depravity**

Snape sneered down at the twins. "I will now attempt to… _penetrate_ your minds… and you will attempt to defend them." He ignored Alex' lecherous grin with practiced ease. Harry grimaced.

A lesson with Snape was always trying, for everyone's psyche. Alex… did not help.

Snape levelled his wand at them, switching between targets in contemplation, before settling on his sister. Harry wasn't surprised. Alex just grinned lecherously. Snape narrowed his eyes.

" _Legilimens!_ "

Next thing he knew, Snape was on his knees, desperately trying to hold back bile. Alex was sprawled by the door, humming softly. Snape raised his glare.

"What. The Hell. Was that."

The girl grinned. She took a deep breath.

 _"_ _Iiiiiit's sadomasopedorobonecrobestiality,  
The quintessential cornerstone of carnal cordiality:  
Example of exquisite, delectable depravity,  
Sadomasopedorobonecrobestialityyyyy! __"_

Harry felt a migraine coming on.


	8. Year Five: Inquisitorial Alexandra

**A/N: Yeah, this is a drabble-a-day story. Of course it's disjointed.**

 **Year Five: The Inquisitorial Alexandra**

"…Alex, why are you in the Inquisitorial Squad?"

The girl shrugged, wearing that infuriating vulpine grin again. Harry pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Better question is, _how_ are you in the Inquisitorial Squad. You annoy Umbridge on a regular basis, you constantly override her authority, often by _teaching her class_ under her nose, you flaunt yourself on a regular basis, and I'm pretty sure both her _and_ Draco have caught you in a broom closet with someone. How the hell did she give you a position of authority?"

Alex grinned. "I told her about my junk."

Harry palmed his face.


	9. Multiple Times: Raising The Elder Gods

**At Any Point, Multiple Times: Raising the Elder Gods**

"Ph'nglui. Mglw'nafh! _Chtulhu R'lyeh!_ Wagh'nagl fhtagn!"

"…Alex, what are you doing?"

"Trying to raise Chtulhu."

"…Well, don't."


	10. Year Seven: Horcruxes

**Year Seven: Horcruxes**

Hermione poked her head into the tent. "Harry, have you seen the Horcrux book?"

Harry shook his head. "Sorry. Did you misplace it? Have you looked in the fridge?"

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Very funny. What about you, Draco? Ron? Luna?"

There was a round of headshakes. Harry got a sinking feeling. "Hermione? When did you last see Alexandra?" He rose. "Or our prisoner, for that matter?"

The girl, noting a distinct lack of a certain Griphook slowly grew pale. "Oh. _Fuck._ "


	11. Year Six: It Begins

**Year Six: It Begins**

"Oooooh, Love Potions!"

One of the Weasley Twins – Harry still couldn't tell which – grinned at her. "And why would _you_ of all people need love potions?"

The other one chimed in with, "You can seduce everyone you like without a single drop!"

Alex grinned. For some reason, Harry felt a strong feeling of dread.

"One word, boys: _Shipping._ "

Both twins wore matching grins.


	12. Year Seven: The Will

**Year Seven: The Will**

"That's all, then, is it?" asked Hermione, making to raise herself off the sofa.

"Not quite," said Scrimgeour. "Miss Potter, Dumbledore left you his wand."

Alex looked dumbfounded. "Is he bloody mental?"

Scrimgeour looked grim. "His will states him to be of sound mind. Nonetheless, here you go." He handed the wand towards her.

Alex took the wand with an almost revered air, staring at it with complete shock. "He actually did it," she whispered. "Albus came through…" She grasped it firmly, and flicked it once. Its tip began to glow softly. Lines of white ran down towards the handle, across her hand. She closed her eyes. The white ran across her every bone, highlighting them with a soft blue glow. Within moments, she seemed to take on the appearance of a skeleton, hints of wings in the air all around… Countless and multiple, with an almost crystalline air altogether…

And just as soon as it appeared, it was gone. Harry blinked. "What. Was that."

"What was what?"

Harry sighed. "You know what I- wait." He eyed the asker. "Hermione? Didn't you see-" He trailed off. A suspicious feeling took hold.

"See what?"

"Sorry," he said, eyeing his 'sister' accusingly. "I must have _imagined_ it."

Alex had the grace to look slightly sheepish. Scrimgeour rose. "Well, now that that's over with, I really need to leave."

The girl ran a hand through her hair, smiling in a very Luna-like manner. "What about the Sword of Gryffindor?"

The Minister looked startled. "What? How did you- Never mind. The Sword is an ancient relic, and as such, not Dumbledore's to give."

As Hermione objected, Harry cast another suspicious glance at his sister. What the hell was she up to?


	13. Year Five: Teaching For Umbridge

**Year Five: Teaching For Umbridge**

"Oh, I don't know," Harry said. "Maybe Lord Voldemort?"

He heard the smack of a palm hitting a face as Alexandra groaned a few seats over. "And that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Harry Potter is not a Ravenclaw. Exhibit #387." She cracked her neck and looked at Professor Umbridge. "Do ignore him, Professor, he has absolutely no filter between his mouth and his brain."

She pondered something, before focusing on the Professor again. "May I?"

Harry could see the woman - he refused to call her a teacher – consider his sister's request. "Well," she said after a moment, "as long as there's something productive, or conductive to the learning environment, I suppose I don't see the harm. For now." She waved her hand. "Go ahead, Miss Potter."

Alexandra rose, bowing slightly. "Thank you, Professor." She turned to the class. "Now, while Harry may not have thought things through-" Harry bristled "-he did raise a point. There _are_ threats out there, although the so-called 'Lord Voldemort' is hardly on top of an average student's list."

As the now familiar feeling of exasperation spread through, Harry couldn't help but shut up, and listen. That girl may have taken the scene in every situation she was in – Draco could confirm that – but she knew what she was talking about.

"…Let's take myself, for instance. I'm a girl – a real looker, too, and don't I know it – filling out rather nicely, young, et cetera, et cetera – who here can tell me what kind of a threat I might face? Yes, Daphne, dear?"

The Slytherin sighed. "Rapists. Perverts. Lechers – whatever you want to call them."

Alex grinned grimly. "Correctomundo. Now, I can't actually give or take points, but that's a really good answer. Neville?"

Neville raised his head, startled. "Err. Harvesters?"

The girl nodded. "People who want to cut me up and sell me for potions parts – remind me to watch out around Snape, Harry – a very real threat to look out for. And we need to defend ourselves against that kind of scum, don't we? …Now, who can tell me of another scenario where we might need to defend ourselves? No, not you, Harry…"

By the end of the lesson, Harry was in awe. Alexandra had wised up, was actually acting as a mature and responsible adult, and taught an entire lesson by herself, to boot! He was truly astonished for her lack of any ulterior motive! As he was packing his things idly making a mental note to check for any signs of an impending apocalypse, he heard Alex' parting comment to Umbridge.

"…And _that's_ how you teach a lesson."

…Okay, everything was right in the world again. So why did he feel so _disappointed?_


	14. Year Five: Centaurs

**Year Five: Centaurs**

"So where's Dolly?"

Hermione smirked. "We left her with the Centaurs."

Harry had to admit, this was the first time he saw Alexandra cringe. " _Ouch,_ " she muttered. "Poor woman." She looked at Hermione with – was that admiration?

"Centaurs are historically known as rapists. To leave anyone, even her, with them, especially concerning Dolly's, ahem, views…"

She shook her head in admiration. "How delightfully evil of you, Granger. We'll make a Dark Witch out of you yet."

Hermione scowled. "First off, I don't think all centaurs practice that. Second off-"

"Ah, that reminds me."

As always, Alex steamrolled over the conversation.

"You're right, of course. Not every centaur is scum. Indeed, if one is gentle enough, they can be absolutely _fantastic_ lovers…" She paused to grin lecherously. "But enough about my relationships. What was second off, again?"

Hermione was looking decidedly pink. "…I've forgotten."


	15. Year Four: Anything That Moves

**Year Four: Anything That Moves**

"Excuse me, Professor Snape?"

Harry and Draco exchanged vary glances. They seemed to be doing that a lot, whenever Alexandra spoke up. Snape closed his eyes.

"What is it that you want, Miss Potter?"

She gave him a sultry smile. Harry put his head in his hands. Draco let out a long sigh.

"Has anyone told you that you look very handsome lately, Professor?"

There was a thump as Draco's head hit the desk. Otherwise, the class had gone dead quiet. Snape considered her for a long moment.

"…No, Miss Potter. No one has."

She shrugged innocently. "I can't imagine why, Professor. You are a very handsome man."

Harry groaned silently. Just what they needed…


	16. Year Seven: Circumventing Stupid Plans

**Year Seven: Circumventing Stupid Plans**

"Seven Harrys," Moody growled. "As to _you,_ Miss Potter-"

"Actually," Alex grinned, "I have my own means of transport."

"What?"

"What."

She grinned at Moody's suspicious, and Harry's oh-boy-here-we-go-again stares. "I figured you have your own dangerous and stupid plans going on, so I arranged to buy myself a motorcycle. I keep it at the Langleys'."

Harry stared. "What."

She rolled her eyes. "Take a picture, it'll last longer. In fact," she grinned wickedly, "I'll even pose nude for you."

Moody growled again. "We don't have time for lollygagging, lass. Now if you'd let me explain the _plan-_ "

"GottagoseeyouintheBurrowbye!"

Fast as lightning, the girl had snagged Hermione's wand, cast a spell, and suddenly Harry was wondering what he was being annoyed about.

The grizzled Auror shook himself off of whatever funk he was in, and Hermione picked up her wand she'd dropped on the floor for some reason.

As Harry began to listen to Moody's plan, he heard (and subsequently ignored) the distant roar of a motorcycle.


	17. Year Seven: Security Question

**Year Seven: Security Question**

Bill walked over to the sideboard and pulled out a bottle of fire-whisky and some glasses.

"Here," he said, and with a wave of his wand, he sent twelve full glasses soaring through the room to each of them, holding the thirteenth aloft. "Mad-Eye."

"Mad-Eye," they all said, and drank.

A loud roar of a motorcycle disrupted the silence. Instinctively, they all looked towards the front door.

The roar died down. A pause… and a knock on the door. Wands rose. Harry had a sinking feeling. Again. "…Who's there?"

"Me."

"Helpful."

Ron and Hermione shared a long-suffering sigh. Hermione, reluctantly, spoke up. "What was the first thing you said to me when we met?"

Harry swore he _heard_ the grin from through the door. "I called you cute, asked if you wanted to be the Library to my Alexandria, talked at length about how I'd soon have a junk, and commented on you and Ron eventually making an adorable couple. Then I spent several minutes trying to ship you with him. And _then-_ "

"Okay! Okay! It's you! Get in!"

The door opened, admitting the grinning girl, still wearing the helmet. She took in the scene.

"…You know, I kind of expected George to be just holey, not 'armless. That's new. Moody still dead?"

…In retrospect, Harry really shouldn't have been surprised at her knowing everything. Again.


	18. Year One: Sorting

**A/N: FF, what the fuck?**

"Potter, Alexandra!"

"Harry watched her approach the stool, fear blossoming in his gut. "Wherever she ends up, we're going to have to keep an eye on her," he whispered to Ron, who nodded in determination.

"SLYTHERIN!"

Both boys froze. "New plan," whispered Ron. "We'll beg Malfoy."

"Potter, Harry!"


	19. Post Year Seven: Summoning

"...what are you doing?"

Harry's erstwhile "sister" and practicing Dark Witch looked up from her meticulously drawn ritual circle. "Summoning, obviously. Hand me those essential salts, would you?"

She was pointing at two jars with incomprehensible writing on them. Harry squinted.

"Alex, what language is this?"

He heard a snort. "English, dummy. Now stop making fun of my handwriting and hand it here."

He handed them over, frowning. "What the hell are "essential salts"?"

She took the jars, placing them meticulously on specific spots on the circle. "Essence of a person, essentially. In current context, used as an offering to Yog-Sothoth, so that He can open a gate to wherever Beyond said person might reside in."

Harry kneaded his forehead. " _Please_ don't tell me you're trying to resurrect Voldemort. Or Bellatrix. Or, god forbid, Snape."

She scoffed. " _Seriously,_ Harry? Who do you take me for?"

He raised an eyebrow. "A Dark Witch?"

She paused. "Okay, fair. No, I'm not resurrecting Dark Wizards. Now, if you please, sit over there, on that chair, and shut up. Rule One of rituals: Stick to the script."

He sat, giving her a Look. "This is a bad idea."

"Shush!"

She stepped into the circle, standing in the exact middle. The two jars of "essential salts" were on each side of her.

 _Y'AI'NG'NGAH!_

The words were not spoken, but he heard them nonetheless, ringing in his head. Still, he kept his mouth shut.

 _YOG-SOTHOTH!_

Magic thrummed in the air.

 _H'EE-L'GEBF'AI!_

 _THRODOG!_

The pressure was becoming unbearable.

 _UAAAHH!_

Everything stilled. A bubble appeared in the air. An eye opened within.

 _ **OH. IT'S YOU AGAIN.**_

Alexandra's determined expression didn't change. "The Lurker at the Treshold, the Opener of the Gate, Yog-Sothoth, born of the Nameless Mist, I seek the soul, the mind, and the body of Lily Potter - from her Next Great Adventure!"

Harry inhaled sharply. _She WHAT?_

"I have and I present the required Essential Salts of Lily Potter, to provide the Path to her Place in the Great Beyond, Oh Beyond One - and I humbly beg for your assistance."

 _ **I DON'T ACTUALLY NEED THIS OVERLY FLOWERY SPEECH, YOU KNOW.**_

"I have offered my offering and I have stated my wish."

 ** _YEAH, YEAH. HAVE FUN AND WHATEVER._**

Another bubble appeared and a nude body tumbled out. The oppressive magic vanished as both bubbles winked out of existence.

Alexandra slumped. "C'mon, bro. Let's get her to a healer."


End file.
